{"id":177,"date":"2020-11-03T05:37:56","date_gmt":"2020-11-03T05:37:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/?p=177"},"modified":"2020-11-09T08:49:40","modified_gmt":"2020-11-09T08:49:40","slug":"bouncing-back-after-a-career-setback","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/bouncing-back-after-a-career-setback\/","title":{"rendered":"Attend to Your Triggers With Love"},"content":{"rendered":"

Art: Mike Medaglia<\/strong><\/p>\n

Rohan aspired to promotion at Senior Director level.<\/p>\n

His commitment to excellence, growth and clarity about contribution to the company\u2019s bottom line was evident.\u00a0In the last couple of years, he had work long and hard, and developed a unique analytical product to build the block chain system in the company.<\/p>\n

And yet, when there was an opportunity for promotion to Senior Director, he was not selected.\u00a0He feels disappointed, betrayed and bitter.<\/p>\n

His manager had told him: \u2018Rohan, this is a no-brainer. You are the right guy for this, and you\u2019ll make it\u2019.\u00a0Then there was an organizational change, and the manager relocated.<\/p>\n

He went over that ugly but polite conversation several times in his head.<\/p>\n

Over an 8am zoom call, his new manager emotionlessly told him: \u2018We have decided to hire an external person for the position of Senior Director\u2019.<\/p>\n

Rohan: I\u2019m surprised to hear this. When is the person joining?<\/p>\n

New Boss: In a month\u2019s time. Your role in onboarding her will be invaluable.<\/p>\n

Rohan: Yes, of course I will support her.<\/p>\n

New Boss: Of course we are committed to your growth, and there will be opportunities.<\/p>\n

Rohan: Yes, thank you.<\/p>\n

Rohan feels a heaviness in his head, a ringing in his ears, his breathing becomes shallow, and for some time his spirit isn\u2019t able to move. He feels a mixture of disbelief, despair, helplessness.<\/p>\n

Rohan is already making plans to quit in the next 12 months, and in the meanwhile starting a side-hustle. He has disapproved of Presenteeism: Physical presence and psychological absence combined; and now its happening to him.<\/p>\n

This trigger of unexpected disappointment has sent Rohan to a ‘Freeze’ and\u00a0 ‘Flight’ mode.<\/p>\n

What is needed is for him to ‘Stay and Play’.<\/p>\n

Ask for a meeting afterwards with the key stakeholder<\/em>.<\/p>\n

\u2018Why was I not considered for the promotion? I consider my self worthy of the opportunity because..<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

x\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

y\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

z\u2026<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

(going prepared with a list of tangible achievements\/ qualities)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>While I am both disappointed and angry, I am prepared to consider a different point of view.\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

You may had had your reasons.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I am curious to discover what they could be; and this feedback could be useful to my growth. Perhaps I have some blind spots I will discover.<\/em>\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n

But this action requires Self-Awareness and the ability to notice- What are my feelings?\u00a0 What are my response patterns of ‘flight’ or ‘fight’ in this situation?<\/p>\n

One emotion that Rohan dare not admit to himself is anger.\u00a0Anger has unfortunately acquired a bad rep, and we end up drowning in despair, but we are numb to our own anger.\u00a0Fully feeling anger will give rise to aggression; and get him out of \u2018victim\u2019 (\u2018poor-me\u2019 position).<\/p>\n

Charles Darwin would have agreed. Even animals need emotions. Fear causes them to avoid predators; Anger triggers aggression that helps them protect their young, their mates, their food, and anything else necessary for the species survival.\u00a0From Anger there is the possibility of the birth of Courage.<\/p>\n

In not acknowledging his emotions fully\u2014 especially of anger, Rohan lost the opportunity to express his own point of view. He squandered his autonomy. Of taking action to impact the outcome.<\/p>\n

The boss is left thinking: The situation is well handled. He has accepted it fine, and he\u2019s ok to report to the new person we are bringing in.\u2019<\/p>\n

\u201cThe way to overcome something is not to avoid it but to move into it<\/em>.\u201d\u2013 Arnie Kozak<\/strong><\/p>\n

(I\u00a0 meet many Rohans in my work as a Leadership and Executive Presence Coach. They eventually learn to seize Life and their Autonomy, and find\u00a0 freedom and power.<\/p>\n

Our group coaching program starts on Nov 21,2020\u00a0Developing EI for Executive Presence<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Art: Mike Medaglia Rohan aspired to promotion at Senior Director level. His commitment to excellence, growth and clarity about contribution to the company\u2019s bottom line was evident.\u00a0In the last couple of years, he had work long and hard, and developed a unique analytical product to build the block chain system in the company. And yet, … Continue reading “Attend to Your Triggers With Love”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":182,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"image","meta":[],"categories":[6,4,8,3,2,10,7],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=177"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":189,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/177\/revisions\/189"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/182"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=177"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=177"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=177"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}