{"id":73,"date":"2019-11-26T06:11:44","date_gmt":"2019-11-26T06:11:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/?p=73"},"modified":"2019-11-26T08:21:47","modified_gmt":"2019-11-26T08:21:47","slug":"dynamics-of-a-family-wedding-and-the-parallels-with-teamwork-in-an-organization","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/dynamics-of-a-family-wedding-and-the-parallels-with-teamwork-in-an-organization\/","title":{"rendered":"Dynamics of a Family Wedding (and the parallels with teamwork in an organization )"},"content":{"rendered":"

Recently we were at an off-site family wedding, which lasted 4 days, including Sangeet, Mehendi, Reception, etc, etc. Relatives arrived from all corners of the country and beyond- and met after a long gap. It helped every-one bond- because amidst (unspoken) comparisons, evaluations, gossip and assessment of How-Well-Have-They-Done, How-Much-Drink-They-Can-Hold, etc, etc; we connected and rediscovered a deep love and respect for each other\u2014beyond the foibles and faults which sometimes is the first to be seen.<\/p>\n

Hopefully this is the purpose of all group gatherings, including corporate retreats.<\/p>\n

Any group is a great place to observe the dynamics of human behaviour, and what better than a wedding. In a group, emotions and thoughts are amplified: How am I looking? (I wish I hadn\u2019t done my packing at the last minute and had planned my wardrobe better); Who are the people clustering together ? Am I part of the inner circle?<\/p>\n

The behaviour is a function of many variables: your role, ie how you are related to the bride\/ groom depending from whose side you have been invited; your age and energy- for example if you have kids you tend to be preoccupied with them; your level of introversion\/ extroversion; your need to be in the lime-light; your skill set\u2014for example if you are a good dancer then you can show up with a certain leadership on the dance floor, etc.<\/p>\n

I took two key variables: one\u2019s \u2018Self Worth\u2019, and the \u2018Commitment to the Task\u2019; and created the following two-by-two matrix, to plot the various behaviours I observed- in myself and others.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

The x-axis represents the level of self-worth, or self acceptance- its about how substantive I feel- regardless of what clothes I\u2019m wearing, or how successful I am, or how others treat me, or appreciate me. It\u2019s about do I enjoy being myself; do I have a regard for myself; do I feel easy in my skin without second guessing and judging myself?<\/p>\n

The y-axis represents the commitment to the task- It will depend on one\u2019s role in the temporary organizing team which has been set up – eg there will be some who are assigned the drinks section, some to receive the guests, some to take care of the food, etc. But the larger goal is : to make sure the wedding goes smoothly, interact and connect with as many people as possible ; and ofcourse to have fun.
\n\"\"
\nHere are the 4 quadrants:<\/p>\n

1.Initiator-Driver<\/strong> (Certain-Self-Worth and High-Task-Ownership): those in this quadrant value themselves, and are connected to the group task. They have a high capacity to jump and extend their support. Thus they influence their environment, and at the same time have the ability to enjoy themselves.<\/p>\n

2.Detached Observer<\/strong>: (Certain-Self-Worth and Low-Task-Ownership): those in this quadrant have chosen to invest less of their energies. It could be for various reasons- they may have other preoccupations or are not so close to the immediate family.<\/p>\n

3.Tentative Participant<\/strong> : (Uncertain-Self-Worth and Low-Task-Ownership): Their somewhat uncertain self-worth makes them quite self-involved and self-immersed\u2014and because of this preoccupation, are almost unable to extend themselves towards the task at hand.<\/p>\n

4. Reliable Aide or Low Maintenance Guest<\/strong>: (Uncertain-Self-Worth and High-Task-Ownership): They are committed to extending themselves for the sake of the lager goal ; sometimes at the cost of their own comfort and well being.<\/p>\n

Do you see the parallels between these behaviours and those in the organizational teams?<\/p>\n

What are the spaces you occupy?<\/p>\n

I found myself in all the four spaces.<\/p>\n

I was inspired by those who remained largely in No 1. But simply being aware helped me navigate the 4 spaces, because we do have an automatic tendency to judge experiences, situations, other people and ourselves\u2026as being good, bad, valuable, worthless, like don\u2019t like. It\u2019s about observing and letting go.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Recently we were at an off-site family wedding, which lasted 4 days, including Sangeet, Mehendi, Reception, etc, etc. Relatives arrived from all corners of the country and beyond- and met after a long gap. It helped every-one bond- because amidst (unspoken) comparisons, evaluations, gossip and assessment of How-Well-Have-They-Done, How-Much-Drink-They-Can-Hold, etc, etc; we connected and rediscovered a deep love and respect for each other\u2014beyond the foibles and faults which sometimes is the first to be seen.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":86,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[3,2],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=73"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":87,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/73\/revisions\/87"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/86"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=73"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=73"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/rashmidatt.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=73"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}