Recently, I was facilitating a team-building session for young techies. After the workshop, the Team Leader mentioned in passing that she noticed that ‘X’ (who has a quick mind) was making faces to his buddy ‘Y’ about ‘Z’ (because Z’s pace was slower).
Two concerns hit me: One, it was clear the team had to develop a maturity of accepting each other, working past judgements and intolerances which lead to annoyances and ultimately conflicts. Getting everyone on the same page is about both goal alignment and developing a mutual respect.
But the bigger piece was: As the workshop facilitator, how could I have missed this non-verbal exchange?
As a group facilitator, one of our tasks is to be so fully attuned to the emotions, thoughts and actions of members, that one has to almost develop ‘eyes at the back of the head’.
What caused me to miss this cue?
I realized I was so focussed in getting certain outcomes during this moment ; with accompanying concerns: Were the team-members ‘getting’ it? Was the exercise making sense? Was this dragging, and should I stay with it for a while, or move on to the next topic?
While this inner questioning is fine; However, we want to develop the ability to hold both simultaneously: the inner ‘self-management’, and the outer ‘environment-tracking’, to pick up signals of the atmosphere, the whole system.
The facilitator (or any leader whether of a team or organisation) cannot afford to have a ‘shut-down’ of any one of the two parts.
This requires the ability to continuously and simultaneously:
1. Check within:
What am I feeling right now?
Am I getting too attached to a point of view or a desired outcome?
What is the image of myself that I am trying to protect?
2. Scan the environment:
What can I sense and read from the expressions of the people around me?
What are their feelings- both expressed and unexpressed?
A second time this happened with me (!) was when as the leader of a project, I had to choose a co-leader. The announcement was made in a hurry to the group because of some reasons- the earlier co-leader was leaving, and there were some other organisational changes as well. But after the announcement was made, one person expressed anger and unhappiness at this choice. He had seniority himself, and I should have scanned the environment to have taken the rest of the picture into consideration.
What were other members’ feelings, thoughts, anticipations and expectations?
I completely missed taking this into account, in my anxiety that the project should not get affected in the wake of the changes, this perspective was missed.
I have seen leaders who similarly who are so keen in driving a point, in pushing an agenda, that they miss out on reading and sensing on what’s happening in the environment in their team.
If you are tuned in, you can detect if there is resistance, acceptance, resignation, enthusiasm, buy-in, or dragging of feet; and use that information to probe for further engagement. Because if this picture is missed out, the destination may not get reached.
This tuning-in requires a zen-like stillness; the ability to be ‘in the moment’ ; and to ‘empty’ the self of wants, wishes, sometimes even obsessions, and ‘letting go’ for higher wisdom to come in.
*(Photo illustration by Jeff Boyer / Times Union)
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{While this story is about my missing the ‘big-picture’ because of ‘over-focus’, there are occasions when I’m able to ‘catch’ it at the right time! If you want to learn more about facilitating with a 360 degree view, or with ‘eyes at the ack of the head’ with psychodrama training (more details here), or develop team leaders who have this skill, contact us.}