In the zoom-boom that is happening, we are getting bombarded by invites for seminars, webinars, yes even wine-enars about upskilling, emotional resilience, re-pivoting, family meets, karaoke meets and school and college reunion ‘addas’.
We all have our favourite addictions.
I can own up to some of them: workaholic, shopaholic, jalebi-holic, Netflix-holic.
And now there is zoom-holic.
One definition of addiction is that: Once you start, it’s very difficult to stop, as the short-term consequences are too delightful, even in the knowledge (it becomes fuzzy in the immediate moment, I have to admit) that the long-term consequences are not that great.
Here are five signs that I spotted of my own addiction.
1. Racing from one zoom meeting to the next, and feeling pretty dashed important about this busy schedule; doesn’t matter legs are getting cramped, and the shoulders becoming stiff.
2. Accepting invites because of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
3. Can see that the value-add of some of the programs one is attending is tiddlywinks, yet hanging on with the video switched off, while swiping through WhatsApp messages.
4. Some of the college/school-meets are pretty darn ridiculous- where everyone is trying to speak simultaneously, with the loudest and the most banal voices finally being heard consistently. The clamor for air space is more tiring than sustaining.
5. There is a ‘it’s-free-and-thus-can’t-be-missed’ compulsion.
Some steps I found helpful to de-addict:
1. Take time to wind-down. Stop. This is a time for a sacred encounter with mother earth. While we are all raving her pristine beauty, cleaner air, dolphins coming to the sea front in Marine drive in Mumbai, the chirping of the birds, how much time are we actually spending outside, and relishing all these gifts?
2. Say no to zoom events which don’t nourish or stimulate us. We have a big fear of being excluded, of not being part of the ‘inner circle’, of being left behind. While it’s nice to be connected, and we all have a social need, it’s helpful to check with oneself: is this gathering really nurturing me? Am I attending it out of love for the group/subject? or just greed for ‘making the most of it’?
3. Where ever we are , participate full-heartedly, instead of one ear on the zoom-audio, one eye on emails, and one foot in the kitchen trying to organize dinner. Also check with oneself – what is stopping us from engaging fully? Do we hesitate to speak up incase my contribution is not valued? Or am I telling myself the subject is too technical for me, and I’m not an expert in it? If the format of the discussion is unwieldy, and not enjoyable, take the risk of making a constructive suggestion of putting in place some ground rules. It may get thrown out, it may get ignored, but what the heck. Corona times is the time for us to face the fear of getting rejected or ignored or disliked for that matter- and find the greatest freedom of all: in listening to the inner voice which demands that we take care of our needs (of rest, nourishment, meaning, sustenance) rather than rushing to fill in the void inside from external sources.
Do you recognize some of these signs of addiction in you? Would love to hear of your experiences.